NBC Proposes Figure Skating-Hockey Combo to Boost Male Viewership
NBC wants Olympic figure skating events and hockey games to occur simultaneously on the same ice to attract and retain more male viewers, most of whom hate figure skating.
Robert Lesh
Pluto
New Town of ‘Nuremberg’ Established Near Minneapolis as Future Site of ICE Trials
Although the trials are likely still years away, construction is nearly complete on a courthouse and jail the town says will be needed to handle an expected influx of ICE officers facing serious criminal charges.
Vacationers Mistake Power House for Gay Biker Bar
Disappointment turns to excitement when group of five lead entire restaurant in epic hours-long Lady Gaga dance party; “Born This Way” played at least 11 times.
Stanley Couple Cycles to LDS Church In Search of LSD
Seekers’ voyage does not meet expectations; laughter, fun still shared by all!
Owner of Mega Mansion Devoted to Minimalism
Catherine Champre bought a Mini Cooper to help save the world; hopes to ‘lead by example’ in displaying true tenets of minimalist living, selflessness
Skier is ‘Definitely Moving’ Due to Lack of Snow
Allen “Slopey” Nonieve’s roommate said the behavior is “exhausting” and “I really hope he actually does move this time.”
Trump Plans To Invade Mexico To Reclaim Land ‘Stolen’ in 1871
The president claims a Mexican gambler and his pet chihuahua stole much of what is present-day northern Mexico after they cheated in a game of Texas Hold’em — claims to have video proof; Mexican food will now be known as “American Food!”
Allen & Co. Damages to SV Sewer Est. At $13 Million
System flooded with toxic combo of ego, greed, cocaine, ketamine and bullshit
Thanksgiving Leftovers of Trauma Fill Valley Fridges
While misery levels were down in 2025, many valley residents still reported being hobbled by family squabbles (gobble, gobble)