Not to be outdone by “drone mom,” a Ketchum dad on Tuesday flew his fifth-grade daughter to the Community School aboard a Black Hawk helicopter staffed by a team of Navy SEALs. She instantly reached an even higher level of “legend” status than “drone boy.”
The president’s son has already been promoted to the rank of four-star general and will direct combat operations in Iran from a posh chalet in a picturesque Swiss Alps village with a vibrant arts and dining scene.
Late-stage capitalism was on full display when a routine dental cleaning for a Bugle reporter turned into an aggressive sales pitch and a $43,500 proposal for unnecessary cosmetic work. The reporter is now shamelessly “antidentite.”
A deluxe king-size waterbed, erotic studio lighting, seductive set design and lube stations remain intact, making the jet attractive to porn producers across the globe; dogs still hope to burn the jet in a sacrificial ceremony.
The president maintains that America’s attack on Iran is not a war or an effort at U.S.-led regime change, but rather a noble action to enrich his billionaire pals and raise gas prices.
NBC wants Olympic figure skating events and hockey games to occur simultaneously on the same ice to attract and retain more male viewers, most of whom hate figure skating.
Although the trials are likely still years away, construction is nearly complete on a courthouse and jail the town says will be needed to handle an expected influx of ICE officers facing serious criminal charges.
Disappointment turns to excitement when group of five lead entire restaurant in epic hours-long Lady Gaga dance party; “Born This Way” played at least 11 times.
Seekers’ voyage does not meet expectations; laughter, fun still shared by all!
Catherine Champre bought a Mini Cooper to help save the world; hopes to ‘lead by example’ in displaying true tenets of minimalist living, selflessness
Allen “Slopey” Nonieve’s roommate said the behavior is “exhausting” and “I really hope he actually does move this time.”
The president claims a Mexican gambler and his pet chihuahua stole much of what is present-day northern Mexico after they cheated in a game of Texas Hold’em — claims to have video proof; Mexican food will now be known as “American Food!”
System flooded with toxic combo of ego, greed, cocaine, ketamine and bullshit
While misery levels were down in 2025, many valley residents still reported being hobbled by family squabbles (gobble, gobble)