Featured
Puppet Show Disappoints with Stale Plot and Poor Acting
The performance, “Lies of a Liar,” was so poorly written and exhaustively long that even puppet fanatics complained; Puppet masters consisted of billionaires and former associates of Jeffrey Epstein — or both. Mostly both.
Editors’ Picks
Rotarun To Offer Heli-Skiing in 2027
A hulking Soviet-era helicopter with rocket capabilities was purchased by SVSEF to provide access to more aggressive big-mountain terrain for enhanced freeride training. Students will also learn how to fire rockets and use dynamite for avalanche control work.
NBC Proposes Figure Skating-Hockey Combo to Boost Male Viewership
NBC wants Olympic figure skating events and hockey games to occur simultaneously on the same ice to attract and retain more male viewers, most of whom hate figure skating.
Racists Flock to Social Media to Protest Bad Bunny’s Message of Love, Unity
Racism, ignorance and abject stupidity were on full display on social media platforms following the Grammy Award winner’s Super Bowl halftime show, which was riddled with offensive messages of togetherness.
Study: 83% of People Think Reading is a ‘Waste of Time’; 34% Won’t Finish this Headline
Seventy-eight percent of people will not have the attention span to finish reading this subhead; just 11% will click the link; only 2% will actually read the story.
God Confirms Trump is the Antichrist, Racist to the Core
A prophesied figure who claims devotion to Jesus Christ, privately opposes him, masquerades as a savior, and gains global power to deceive humanity before the end times. This is the definition of the Antichrist. Sound familiar? This is “our president,” the great unifier who sits in his White House bed
3-Year-Old Rips 18 Laps on Dollar’s Magic Carpet, Downs Two Hot Cocoas in Après
Young ripper from Hailey passed out in the backseat of the car on the way home; both hot cocoas had extra marshmallows.