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ICE Generalfeldmarschall Greg Bovino unveiled the agency’s new uniforms to audible gasps during a Sunday morning news conference in Minneapolis, where he was immediately pressed by reporters about their apparent historical inspiration.
“Yeah, these are basically the same uniforms worn by Nazi SA stormtroopers in the 1920s and ’30s — minus the swastika,” one reporter said.
“That’s not a question, little missy,” Bovino replied while cracking the shell of a hardboiled egg against the lectern.
“You’re right,” the reporter said. “Here’s my question: What the [expletive] is wrong with you?”
Bovino reacted with shock and insisted any resemblance between the new ICE uniforms and those of the Nazi-era SA was purely coincidental.
“Oh my, ist dast what the American people über etwas sprechen?” he asked, unbuttoning his Nazi SS styled overcoat while shaking his head in confusion. “Die implikation resent.”
Bovino added that the uniforms “look nothing like Nazi stormtroopers because our armbands clearly say ICE,” noting he had given himself a fresh “Nazi cut” moments before the briefing using clippers he keeps in his coat pocket — the hairstyle needs daily maintenance to keep it in line with certain traditions.
The SA, also known as the Brownshirts, served as the Nazi Party’s original paramilitary wing, notorious for bullying, intimidation and extreme political violence in its rise to power.
Sound familiar?
Bovino maintained the controversy was “one giant missverständnis.”
“I designed these uniforms to help officers identify each other quickly in chaotic situations,” he said, “like when murdering innocent Americans exercising their First and Second Amendment rights.”
