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Hundreds — if not thousands — of ICE officers are expected to face a wave of legal charges once Trump leaves office in January 2029.
In anticipation, a new town called Nuremberg is under construction in the suburbs of Minneapolis, preparing for what officials describe as the eventual arrival of “busloads of ICE officers — the worst of the worst.”
“We were worried Trump might kick the bucket before his term is over, so we had to get the infrastructure in place quickly,” said Mayor Bob “I hate Nazis” Jackson, who then paused.
“Wait — did I just say I’m worried about Trump dying?”
Jackson then laughed so hard he nearly fell over.
Although the town already has basic infrastructure and a few dozen homes, construction on Nuremberg’s courthouse and detention center remains unfinished.
The jail — nicknamed Minne-Gitmo — is expected to house what Jackson described as “pure evil.” In addition to a slew of civil rights violations, officers are expected to face charges of excessive use of force, domestic terrorism and murder.
“These are Nazi Brownshirts we’re talking about here,” Jackson said. ”The worst of the worst — gullible, hate-filled, insecure, chubby little minions with pea-sized brains.
“Wait, did I say they have brains?”
Jackson then laughed so hard he nearly fell over, again.
