Table of Contents
Wally Chef has seen every episode of Seinfeld at least three times.
So when he misread a Bugle satire piece referencing an episode about being “antidentite” — prejudiced against dentists — it was too much to handle, and he canceled his free membership.
In the article, written by Bugle reporter Robert Lesh, there are several references to “antidentite,” including in the headline: “Four Out of Five Valley Dentists Will Upsell the Shit Out of You as Antidentitism Rises.”
That caught Chef’s eye — though he misread the word as “antidentistism.”
“You must not be a big Seinfeld fan because they say ‘antidentite,’ not ‘antidentist,’ in the episode,” Chef wrote on Facebook.
The claim puzzled the reporter.
“At no point do I write ‘antidentist’ in the story,” Lesh replied. “I wrote ‘antidentitism,’ not ‘antidentistism.’”
That did not satisfy Chef, who remained adamant the reporter had erred and misrepresented Seinfeld, despite clear evidence to the contrary.
“You wrote ‘antidentist,’ not ‘antidentite,’” he said.
“I think your eyes might be playing tricks on you,” Lesh replied.
Despite the proof, Chef remained steadfast in his convictions and said he plans to boycott and protest the free satire newspaper for the rest of his life.
“They totally butchered Seinfeld,” Chef said before walking into a wall and falling down the stairs due to his worsening vision.
Despite struggling to see well enough to navigate his own home or read accurately, Chef insists he will never get glasses.
“I’m a serious antioptometrite,” he said.
