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Ketchum resident Sheila Moans fakes her orgasms at least four times a week.
Her neighbor, Kristen Normal, said the moans are becoming “beyond ridiculous” and, frankly, unbearable.
“I mean, nobody believes she is really orgasming,” said Normal, 67, who has lived in Ketchum for 41 years. “Even my dogs shake their heads when they’re in the backyard and can’t help but hear her loud, fake moans coming from the open window of her upstairs bedroom. I swear she’s on a megaphone.”
Normal said she believes the only person unaware that Sheila is faking is her husband.
“And, I mean, come on, get real, dude,” Normal said Monday. “Do you really believe you’re sending her to the moon like that every time you have sex? They both live on a stage.”
A new study by USA Yesterday found that upwards of 73 percent of women in Ketchum and Sun Valley have faked an orgasm at least once in the past month. Only 18 percent of women “fake it” in the mid and south valley. A surprising 22 percent of men in the north valley fake their orgasms while men in the south valley “cannot figure why anyone would do that shit.”
“People are simply more ‘real’ and less preoccupied with financial status in Hailey and Bellevue,” said anthropologist Linda Mann. “This leads to more genuine fun, connection and attraction, which leads to more natural, or real, orgasms.”
Sheila, 43, moved to Ketchum from Marin County, California, in 2020 with her husband, Carl Moans, seeking an escape from their affluent but dense San Francisco suburb during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic.
She claims Carl is like most affluent men: highly insecure, driven by ego, self-centered and overly reliant on sex to fill emotional voids. She said the 47-year-old, who works in AI, also lives in a fantasy world shaped by unrealistic sexual expectations.
“He thinks everyone should have sex like a 22-year-old, AI porn star,” Sheila said. “He thinks he’s a porn star. He’s definitely not a porn star — I can tell you that.
“But he does have a ton of money.”
Sheila said her husband spends his mornings golfing, his afternoons drinking vodka tonics and his nights taking Viagra and chasing her around the house.
“I keep telling myself he might get hit in the head with a golf ball and slip into a coma, which would allow me to live out the rest of my life in peace,” she said. “I love the guy, but come on — there’s more to life than playing with balls.”
Sheila said she fakes her orgasms not only to please her husband but to improve her own performance.
“I’m working on developing an OnlyFans account that Carl knows nothing about,” she said. “I‘m gonna fake it till I make it.”
The trend appears to cut across most age groups, except for those under 25 as they don’t have sex.
