ICE Agent Shoots Puppy Over Fear of Attack, Failure to Produce Papers
Agents say puppy was aggressive and they feared for their lives; Trump to honor agent during White House ceremony Saturday evening.
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Nurses, Teachers Celebrated as Most Underpaid, Undervalued Professions in U.S. History
President Trump will crown the honorees during the “Freedom 250” celebration on July 4, 2026; St. Luke’s administrators to host a ceremony celebrating nurses’ low pay and the removal of additional benefits.
ICE Job Fair Hopes to Attract Psychopaths, Murderers, People Who Want to Try Murder
Organizers of the hiring clinic, to be held this Saturday, want to remind applicants that ICE agents “can shoot and kill innocent people whenever they want and President Trump is totally cool with it.”
Disputed ‘5Be a Distracted Driver’ Comp Starts Sunday
Many in the valley have been unknowingly practicing for years
Thank You For Everything, Bobby. Eternal Love and Gratitude. RIP, NFA
For more than 30 years Robert Weir and the Grateful Dead have been a central part of my life on many levels. I am brokenhearted but also full of love and gratitude. Enjoy your trip, Bobby. Not fade away.
Drunk Partier Confuses Narcolepsy and Necrophilia
Embarrasses wife at company New Year’s Eve party by telling everyone that Larry Pounder, who suffers from narcolepsy, is “a freak who [expletive] dead people.”
Santa Accused of Favoring North Valley Again
Gap in Santa’s gift quality and quantity between Ketchum and Bellevue continues to widen, for 53rd-consecutive-year.
Malone Auto Park Blasts Chantrelle with Xmas Lights
New Bellevue dealership’s gesture to offset intrusive, bright security lights with even brighter Christmas lights is not well received; Neighbors fear city officials will “probably not really do anything about it.”
Stanley Couple Cycles to LDS Church In Search of LSD
Seekers’ voyage does not meet expectations; laughter, fun still shared by all!
Sun Valley to Install Massage Chairs in Gondola Cabins
Project aims to compensate guests for poor snow conditions, limited open terrain; full spa service planned in cars 4, 20 and 36
Owner of Mega Mansion Devoted to Minimalism
Catherine Champre bought a Mini Cooper to help save the world; hopes to ‘lead by example’ in displaying true tenets of minimalist living, selflessness
Who Flung Poo at Chantrelle?
Glendale residents now angry at Chantrelle for supposedly distracting Bellevue city officials from sewage issues; you can not make this shit up.
Skier is ‘Definitely Moving’ Due to Lack of Snow
Allen “Slopey” Nonieve’s roommate said the behavior is “exhausting” and “I really hope he actually does move this time.”
Trump Plans To Invade Mexico To Reclaim Land ‘Stolen’ in 1871
The president claims a Mexican gambler and his pet chihuahua stole much of what is present-day northern Mexico after they cheated in a game of Texas Hold’em — claims to have video proof; Mexican food will now be known as “American Food!”
Allen & Co. Damages to SV Sewer Est. At $13 Million
System flooded with toxic combo of ego, greed, cocaine, ketamine and bullshit